Aunt Flo...w is coming!

Ok, so I am within a few days of my "monthly friend" and the freak out is already happening! It is sure to be coupled with hysterical, childish moments and multiple temper tantrums. And now with this new TTWD, it's sure to be coupled with nightly paddlings!

I have always struggled with my cycle! It starts out crying over coffee commercials, moves to throwing myself down like a two year old and ends with throwing things, seriously! I mean, maybe I should be medicated for these symptoms now that there are consequences (hate that word).

Isn't there some "get out of punishment" for a friggin' week card?! I have been doing so good. I have dodged a few bullets...PTL! And, we have been communicating during disagreements! And now Mother Nature is going to butt in and ruin it all. Ugh....

Rant over....for now!

Defiance...

Defiance...as you all will figure out by reading through my blog, I'm super great at this. I think it's everyone's earthly nature, including Men, to try to make your own decisions, be independent and basically, do what you want. Well, this nature, in my opinion, pushes our HoH into a role that is passive. It's not how God intended the roles to be. Well, if I'm honest, my defiance and disrespect are my biggest issues and tend to cycle within one another. Day 3...I stayed out of trouble but Day 4 came and was looking good until later in the afternoon. I'll spare you the details but what you need to know is that wonderful defiance and disrespect kicked in. I was asked to do something that I thought was absurd and then just said, "NO!" Not only did I say no, I didn't ever do what I was asked to do. He calmly said, "OK, we'll deal with it later..." I knew what that meant. I spent the next 3 hours begging for forgiveness and trying to get out of a spanking. This made him more angry and I was warned if I didn't stop, it would be worse. I stopped.

I get all of my punishments at bedtime because we have a houseful of kids. I knew it was coming and tried to go to bed early. He didn't let me. I received my lecture and my swats. Because we are still learning TTWD, he went too light, it did still hurt. He realized he did and said he would make up for it next time and to be patient with him as he is learning. He is a great HoH for just starting out!

Lesson Learned: Do NOT tell your HoH "No!" and do as he asks. LOL

Ugh....Rules!

As the day came to an end and we tucked the kids away for bed, I decided I would talk to the HoH about rules...reluctantly. We talked about the 4 D's which he liked but there were more rules we needed to set up. Here we were, communicating again, without yelling, blaming or any of the other sh-crap we did during our crazy pre-DD life. I thought I would share them with you all and like my friend Kay says, maybe it will help me remember them....LOL

First, let's start with the 4 D's, they encompass quite a bit...

Disobedience, Defiance, Dishonesty and Disrespect

As far as I'm concerned, everything falls under these but we decided to be specific on certain ones we struggled with.

The rest are...

1. Be honest, no matter what the truth is.
2. Be respectful
3. When out without spouse, check-in regularly
4. No cussing in front of the kids.
5. No fighting in front of the kids.
6. No yelling during arguments.
7. No name-calling!
8. No going hysterical or historical!
9. No absolutes...ex. You always do... or You never do...
10. No saying, "I'm leaving... or the word "divorce"
11. Never go to bed angry
12. Don't be wasteful with money or utilities at home
13. Hold my tongue in public...I know what this means! :-)
14. No talking about our sex life in public.
15. No temper tantrums
16. No secret accounts, financial or social.
17. Hold still during spankings and cooperate with punishments.
18. Trust that eachother has the best intentions.
19. Work together as a team, not against eachother.
20. Love unconditionally!!!!

Well, these are our rules! We'll see how following them goes... :-)

Are we really doing this?

Day 1 of TTWD, (I found out that means, this thing we do....I'm so smart in blogland now! LOL!) had really gone by like a gust of wind. It was Day 2, I couldn't get my hands off of the new HoH. We headed to Church, I guaranteed myself that when we returned, I would do more research. I'm a research kind of a gal! I emailed Clint and asked a couple of questions. He responded, and quickly, which kinda made me think he was human. Haha...sorry Clint. He told me about the DD network and also told me that our next step should be to make a set of rules and consequences. Rules?! I hate that word! Consequences?! I hate that word even more! HoH spent the day on the tractor and I spent the day talking myself out of "making rules" and putting my mind on everything or ANYTHING else other than DD. It didn't work! All I could think about was the connection, that crazy connection that started with a spanking...

Pull your pants down!

I shook my head to be sure that's what I heard. He said, "that's right, get over my knee." I saw he had the paddle in hand, the same paddle I had bought to reinforce good behavior from the kids. He firmly pulled me over his knee and began....

((Swat)) Ouch

((Swat)) Ouch...squirm

((Swat)) squirm...whimper

((Swat)) Oh my gosh...I'm dying!

I sat up and stopped him, grabbing him around the neck and and hugging him tightly. He comforted me for a moment and lectured me a bit. I really had not done anything, well, except for our entire marriage's worth of disrespecting and defying him. He then said,

"You don't decide when we're done! I decide when we're done! And for that, you are getting 5 more!"

He commenced with 5 more that were harder than the first 4 and trust me, I didn't wiggle or squirm. I took it, because I had earned it for being defiant (which I'm super great at) and I knew he was perfecting his new role as HOH!

Afterwards, he held me, comforted me, loved me and talked to me. He asked me about my feelings and told me his. WE WERE CONNECTING for the first time EVER! The feelings were all over the place, but amazing! I knew then and there that we had entered the DD lifestyle and there was no turning back.

I had always wondered what made the "relatives" marriage so amazing. What was their secret? They had their share of family and financial issues. But, they always seemed so strong! Now, I knew! The feelings and response after the spanking shocked us both. I can honestly say that the first spanking changed everything for us and my feelings of respect, admiration and love for my HOH were stronger than ever!

I let a day pass....

I let a day pass with all of my new information and because I totally suck at keeping secrets, I decided I would tell him, (even though I wasn't supposed to) in a manner that almost mocked it! In honesty, I was still quite shocked and humored by all that I had read and well, it was quite funny to think about our certain relative being spanked by her husband. He did what I thought he would do, he kinda laughed and then said,

"This is a sexual thing, right?!"

"Actually, that's what I thought in the beginning but, no it's not. I mean it can be, but this isn't!"

I went on to tell him about a blog I had just about read all the way through, http://www.learningdd.blogspot.com/ and a website http://christiandomesticdiscipline.com/ and we still kinda laughed it off. In the back of my mind, I was going through these thoughts...

What if Clint is right?

What if this could make our marriage different?

As far as our marriage, we'd struggled, and hard! Lots of fights, name calling, "I'm leaving!", many counselors and for our entire marriage, and a ton of going hysterical and historical! At moments, I think we'd both wished the other would leave but I truly believe what kept us together was our love for Jesus and our kids! Back to the thoughts...

If I suggest we try this, will he think I'm insane?

Will he judge me?

Will he laugh at me?

Am I really asking to be disciplined?

What in the hell is wrong with me?

I continued to research and question myself. Finally, I decided we had nothing to lose! Things had been terrible between us in the past and so after we put the kids to bed, I pulled out the laptop and showed him the sites.  He read for about 30 minutes. We talked more and read more and talked more and read more. Then he shut the laptop and said,

"Pull your pants down!"

He does WHAT?!?!

This is how I was introduced to DD....

We had made the plans a week before. We would head to the city and meet some family, the girls would do a little shopping and the men, well, they'd do whatever men do! So, here we are walking among the shops, telling stories and me, being quite sarcastic during one, was stopped by my relative. Let's call her J for now and soon you'll know why I can't release her name or what relative she is.

J: "You know, you remind me alot of myself!?

What's that mean? "Oh yah...why?"

J: "Well, we are strong willed, opinionated, sarcastic and mouthy women..."

Who me? "Ummm yes that's true."

J: "Well, a couple years back, we were having alot of issues in our marriage. I don't need to go into detail but it was pretty rough."

"ok..."

J: "Well, that's when a friend of ours told us about Domestic Discipline."

Discpline? hmmm...

J: "There's no easy way to say this, well, basically.....I get spanked."

cough...choke...laugh...cough..."You what?!" The shock is really hard to describe through a blog but I think we've all been there....

J: "Well, as part of our rules, I'm not supposed to tell anyone, unless I have permission. I will get spanked if He finds out!"

(sarcastic tone) "Or what?! You get spanked! You're joking...right?!"

J: "I shouldn't say anymore. Don't tell anyone else that we had this conversation and go home and google Domestic Discipline."

Well, this is where the conversation ended. However, my curiosity did not end there. I started googling immediately. I found ALOT of information and ALOT of mis-information. Was I going to tell the hubby, a self-proclaimed "butt guy?" Ummm....not a chance!