I let a day pass....

I let a day pass with all of my new information and because I totally suck at keeping secrets, I decided I would tell him, (even though I wasn't supposed to) in a manner that almost mocked it! In honesty, I was still quite shocked and humored by all that I had read and well, it was quite funny to think about our certain relative being spanked by her husband. He did what I thought he would do, he kinda laughed and then said,

"This is a sexual thing, right?!"

"Actually, that's what I thought in the beginning but, no it's not. I mean it can be, but this isn't!"

I went on to tell him about a blog I had just about read all the way through, http://www.learningdd.blogspot.com/ and a website http://christiandomesticdiscipline.com/ and we still kinda laughed it off. In the back of my mind, I was going through these thoughts...

What if Clint is right?

What if this could make our marriage different?

As far as our marriage, we'd struggled, and hard! Lots of fights, name calling, "I'm leaving!", many counselors and for our entire marriage, and a ton of going hysterical and historical! At moments, I think we'd both wished the other would leave but I truly believe what kept us together was our love for Jesus and our kids! Back to the thoughts...

If I suggest we try this, will he think I'm insane?

Will he judge me?

Will he laugh at me?

Am I really asking to be disciplined?

What in the hell is wrong with me?

I continued to research and question myself. Finally, I decided we had nothing to lose! Things had been terrible between us in the past and so after we put the kids to bed, I pulled out the laptop and showed him the sites.  He read for about 30 minutes. We talked more and read more and talked more and read more. Then he shut the laptop and said,

"Pull your pants down!"