Why can I not shut up?!

So, the week went by very fast! I worked outside on the farm ALOT! Shuffled the kids to and from school, meet the teacher, football practice, church and much more. This basically left me no time for the network...boo! :-( I missed all the ladies! However, I got so much done around the house and everywhere else that I manged to squeak my way past any punishments from the HoH! Yay for me! If you read my last blog, you know he started adding them up! He had not done anything with the "adding" so I figured maybe he forgot! Again, yay for me! So, yesterday rolled around, I love Fridays! I love weekends! I love knowing that the HoH will be home, Saturday football games, Church and just about everything else about weekends. Anyway, as bedtime approached last night, the HoH and I got into one of those discussions, the kind of discussion where I get to give my opinion BUT he gets to make the final call! I HATE these discussions. It is, without a doubt, my biggest weakness with submission! Long story short, I became disrespectful and almost mocked him through the discussion argument! He firmly said, "We'll talk about this later!" I did shut up but thought in the back of my mind, "Yah right!" Well, bedtime came along, I finished getting ready for bed and went to crawl into bed. I saw the bedroom door was locked, the HoH was smirking and when I pulled back the covers...there it was! That damn paddle! I buried my head in the pillow, he began lecturing. Now, pause for a brief moment to hear the thoughts while I buried and he lectured....This is only our second week with a DD lifestyle. How come he is so confident? Consistent? It's almost as if he is paying attention to every move I make! He behaves as though we have always done this and so much that he has become sneaky and a bit devious! WTH?! I brought this to him! You know what?! When he puts me over his knee, I'm gonna make a move. I'm gonna tie him up with the bedsheets and paddle to my heart's content! Then I'm gonna...and then...oh man, I hope he warms me up a bit. This is gonna hurt like hell! I've been terrible this week...And...

"Do you understand that? Do you realize how disrespectful you've been?"

"Uh huh..."I missed the lecture...not like I needed to hear it...

"Alright, let's do this..."

Now, the next 5 minutes consisted of swat after swat and then he was done.

Oh, well, that wasn't bad...

Now, ladies, before he even put the paddle down, I opened my mouth and I couldn't believe what came out. The unthinkable. The stupid. Wait for it...."I think you should spank me more. I'm really not sorry and already thinking about being disrespectful again."

WTH?! Shut up! Why did you say that?!

Over the knee...again. Now, ladies, the defiance kicked in big time. Swat after swat after swat, harder with each one. He talked to me, asked if I was sorry, asked if he needed to keep going and I couldn't wouldn't stop him. I even laughed a couple times. Now, these were NOT laughable swats!

What the hell was wrong with me?!

I was in pain but still not there yet. You, who have been doing this, you know what there looks, feels, smells, tastes and sounds like. I had lost count of the swats. Finally, the last two swats were laid down with a different strength, one he had not used before and it was more than enough to push me there and I was done.

"I can't believe you! Stubborn! Defiant! What is wrong with you?! I'm still wondering if we need to keep going..."

"I'm done!" I apologized for everything and even thanked him, strangely enough. We cuddled, laughed a bit about my defiance and faded off into the night. I couldn't help but wonder, have the other ladies been through this? Have they admitted to needing more? Is something wrong with me?!